User blog:Noah.4434/Some shitpost cuz y not

be me< beautiful, big (432 lbs) 28 year old baby boy< playing hunnie pop< tummy rumbles, need tendies ASAP, haven't eaten in 1 WHOLE HOUR< "MUMMIE TENDIE TIME YOUR BIG BOY IS HUNGRY"< "I'll make your chicken in an hour anon, I'm on a business call right now"< AN HOUR< does this bitch want to be locked up for child abuse ?< I guess I'll have to get them myself< take mummies 1996 dodge grand caravan, with special big boy accommodations (see pic)< hop in, suspension makes a cool creaking noise < take the wheel and rev the engine< Blast off at top speeds, heading straight for the nearest Walmart< targetaquired.jpg< Start hurling towards the parking lot, but i see a collapsed shopping cart shelter< lightbulb.gif< use it as a ramp and launch myself into the Walmart< go crashing through the glass at the front of the store, but because I'm so big and healthy i keep going and hit a bunch of coke 12-packs arranged in an american flag.< shit tier soda come crashing down on me, covering my chariot in nasty cola< I burst out of the big boy door and unsheathe my katana< about six normie boy scouts doing a food drive where crushed under my personal transport< it's okay, they're just meatbag NPCs< "GIMME GIMME CRISPY CHICKEN OR SOME ASSES ARE GONNA NEED KICK'N"< run into the actual store itself at Naruto speed< see the frozen food isle< i can taste victory< use my katakana to slash everybody in my way< i cannot slow down because of my healthy weight< smack into glass, tendies come cascading down on me< grab as many as i can and run to the counter< Hot girl working the register< she's making the sound Hirohito-san made in super Okinawa tentacle rape 89, a kind of yelling< she gets on the phone, calling for the "police"< "NOT TO FEAR YOUNG, LARGE BREASTED MADAM"< jump on her< shes making the noise even louder now< suddenly, police enter the building< "POLICE DROP THE SWORD"< fuckin normies< slash him and take m'lady with me< take a nearby cargo van< go speeding down the highway, cops in hot pursuit< home is in sight< jerk steering wheel like they do in initial d< turn the shiftier to the "P" option for power speed< van flips over and barrels into living room< take m'lady and run upstairs to my lair.< hear mommie yell< "SON WHY THE FUCK IS THE SWAT TEAM HERE"< when will they learn that nippon steel beats all< charge towards gun-toting normie< loud bang< wake up to tendies and anime<

life's good copied and paste cuz y not