Goddamn you securityfags



Storytime? Storytime.

>Be me, 1993. >Be working as an accountant in a shitty pizza parlor with creepy-ass chucky cheese rip-off animatronics. >Shit doesn't even pay minimum wage wtf >Get moved to the nightshift >Old guard simply "didnt show up one day" >bullshit.png >Contractually obligated to take over the job >whatever, the fox looks hot anyway (im not a furry) >they gimme some shit to read for the next guy >fuck >first night, i bring a fuck-ton of redbull and a shit-ton of chips >just flip through the shitty out-of-date cam they got, doesn't even go online. >wtf someone didnt move the damn animatronic back in place >I read the paper, it's boring as fuck >nothing except things like lawsuit and shit >wait >what the fuck >this is getting fucking ominous >bleached carpets? missing person reports filed within 90 fucking days? >shit, im getting spooked. and ive worked here for years >say some assuring thing so the next guy that works here wouldnt be fucking panicking >I read on >HolyFuckingShitWhatTheJesusFuckingChrist.png.gif.mp3.mp4.dmg.zip.jpg.txt.doc >the paper says that the fucking crusty-ass animatronic shit fuckers move at night >check the cameras >shit >they didnt forget to move the animatronics back in place >the fuckers moved on their own >fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck >I read on  >My mind is full of fuck >The note says they wanna insert me into a bearsuit because they thought I was a bare endoskeleton >fuck no miss me with dat gay shit >I keep trying to be calm and reassuring as i read out the fucked up paper to the recorder >I hope the next guy dont shit his pants because I sure failed at keeping my fecal matters inside my bowels >The damn animatronics are moving again >I cant find the damn rabbit anywhere >wait wheres the fucking chicken >cant peer my head out into the hallway because of game restrictions >GoddamnYouScottCawthon.gif >Im suing this shit company the moment i get out >close the door >it's 5:45am fucking hell >if the animatronics dont show up in the next 15 minutes, i am legally allowed to leave. >their servos lock up at 6am fuck yeah >finish reading the shit. I left so much reassurance and wisdom in there, so the guy would probably survive >i turn the light on for one second aND THE FUCKING RABBIT IS OUTSIDE MY OFFICE >I CLOSE THE DOOR >FUCKERS TRYING TO OPEN THE DOOR >THROW MULTIPLE CANS OF REDBULL AT HIM >fuckers finally leave >I heard my watch go off >fuck >yeah >open the door >get on the floor >everyone do the dinosaur >just kidding, i bolted the fuck out of there. >go home >change soiled clothes >cry for 2 hours >these fuckers making me go back for 4 more nights >night 2 >give some tips and trick and inside insight on the whole fucked up mess to the next guy >Checking the hot smokin fox out while doing so >wtf, hes peeking out at me         >what a naughty boy OwO >wait >what >oh >the foxs getting out of his cove >wha >OH FUCK >HES CHARGING DOWN THE HALL >CLOSE THE DOOR FUCK FUCK FUCK >"Atleast the bear isn't going anywhere" I thought. >THE BEAR IS GONE I LITERALLY JUST >I try to compose myself and tell the recorder all my observations >the fox is finally gone, but the rabbit and the bear is both loose. >what the fuck the bear is in the ladies room >I try to find the rabbit, CAN'T FIND IT. >After nearly an hour, I open the door. >Nothing. >Still can't find the rabbit. >OH SHIT THE BEAR IS COMING DOWN THE HALL >close the door again >cant >what >the fuck >the rabbit was hiding under the window >piece of fuck cost me my life. >[sobbing] please don't eat my ass, spirits. >the power goes out >I am plunged into darkness >tfw the bear decides to play classical music before killing me >tfw it's actually fire. >aw shit, it stopped. >I hear footsteps. >Ok, I saw enough jurrasic park to know that I shouldnt move >fuck >f u c k        >f  u  c  k  >HOLY FUCKING IT ACTUALLY WORKS >6AM CLICKED MOTHER FUCKERS THE BEAR IS JUST STANDING THERE >BITCH WATCH ME STRUT OUT OF THIS FUCKING BUILDING FUCK YEAH >get home. >sleep for 14 hours. >NIGHT THREE BITCH >Record a short message for the next guy, relay all the information I know and my theories, along with the tip to stay still as fuck. >Make it past 4am without literally any trouble >Ah shit, the fox is gonna start running soon >I close the door- > >Fuck. >It's jammed. Both doors are jammed. The chicken and the rabbit got me. >It's nearly 5am, holy fuck >I wait in silence >It's 5:12am now. >The fox is just fucking singing >the bear is still on the stage. >Don't dare look away from the 2 doors >Ok, everything is going fine >What >I hear footsteps >Oh fuck the fox is active and it's running down the hall >I don't know what to do >I eye the can of redbull I brought >In an act of braveness, I uncapped it and poured the entire thing on the floor >The fox came speeding down, slipped on the bull, and slammed into the rabbit, the impact unjammed the door >fuck yeah >I close the door for the left hall, and used my desk and stuff to block up the right hall so the chicken doesnt kill me. >Get on the floor and attempt to scratch out my will into the tiles using a stick. >6am eventually hits. >janitor comes into find a bunch of animatronic piled up outside the office >kek >I get out, flip off all the animatronics, and the shocked janitor. >Before I drive off, I also flip off the entire building. >I flip off the parking lot as I drive away. >When I got home, I opened up the restaurants website and spent 2 hours writing an extensively long, strongly worded message that eventually get me banned from the website. >SorrySirThatWasAgainstCompanyPolicy.png >I flipped off the entire website. >Drank gallons of Redbull and coffee until I start seeing shit >Sat down and watched TV for the rest of the day. >Night 4. >The moment 12pm hit, I knew i was fucked. >The chicken and the rabbit moved. The bear was gone, the fox was out. >I closed both doors, and I turned the recorder on. >If the next guy decides to listen to me, he might have a chance. >I told the future guard that I was happy that I recorded the messages to help him. >I told him that I knew he could make it. >The fox was banging on the door, the chicken and the rabbit were moaning and not in the good way. >Oh shit im running out of power >Fuck, I already knew I was dead. >I told the recorder to check the suits in the backroom. I might survive, or they might find my body. >Oh shit, power's out. >Bear's playing mozart of beethoven or whatever again. >He screechs at me, and drag me to the backroom >ISaidIWannaBeStuffedButNotLikeThis.doc >tfw I die and turn into a ghost >tfw the next security guard comes in and mutes all my calls, disregarding valuable info that would save his life. >tfw securityfag doesn't even check the backroom. >tfw I'm literally still here, about 25 years later. It's cool being a ghost I guess. Found and hung out with a kid who was killed by some guy with a skin condition back in the 80's. But seriously, Fuck the shithead that muted my calls. Anyway, how was your day, /x/?